Thursday Night Impact comes back from commercial to show Zack Ryder standing with Renee Young, a big smile on his face and the PWL Television Championship hanging around his waist. He has on a red and blue headband to match his red and blue glasses. His grey shirt has a television with a slight crack from one of the corners with a white line going from one corner to another, on one side the television is filled red and the other is filled blue, to match his headband, glasses, and the design on the television championship.
Renee Young
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with my guest at this time, the current reigning Television Champion, the "Woo Woo Woo Kid" Zack Ryder.
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Thank you Renee, and might I say you look most beautiful tonight.
Renee blushes quickly but stays on her regime.
Renee Young
Thank you, Zack. Now, Zack, last week we saw your impressive debut against Bray Wyatt, barely kicking out of a 'Sister Abigail' and winning after a 'Rough Ryder'. Then, you followed that up by entering the Television Championship Open Challenge and defeating self-proclaimed 'Best in the World' CM Punk after barely holding on after a skull-rattling Go-To-Sleep. I, along with the rest of the PWL Universe, want to know how it feels to be dubbed the 'Woo Woo Woo Comeback Kid' as well as your string of luck, and being the current Television Champion.
Zack looks as if he is thinking deep and hard as he stares off into space before he suddenly looks at Renee.
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Wow, you said a mouthful.
Zack once more goes back into his thinking state before taking off his glasses and pulling the mic a bit closer.
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
You see Renee, I'm not lucky, I just happened to be a fighter. Not only with barely kicking out of devastating moves and winning, but so much more than that. You see, after my battle with cancer back in high school, luck has nothing to do with it. If I didn't let cancer keep me down, I can't let these goons who self-dub themselves as some crazy god or Mad King or Best in the World keep me down either.
Renee looks puzzled, not exactly sure what to respond with but a sign of relief hits her as Zack continues speaking.
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
But enough with the heart to heart, let's get to business. I can tell you EXACTLY how it feels to be the Television Champion of the World. You see, in my first two matches I've managed to prove that not only do I have the good lucks, the charming personality, and the incredible taste in clothing and drinks, but I also have the talent to back up anything I have to say. But, while being Television Champion of the World does come with its perks of unlimited women, incredible drinks, and food only a true Broski could love, it does have its downside.
Renee Young
It has a downside?
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Of course it does. You see, I had to make an order for several brand new custom "Zack Ryder: Television Champion of the World" t-shirts and headbands that come in all different colors and sizes just days after I had already ordered a bunch of other Zack Ryder merchandise. I mean, there's cups, headbands, shirts, even a halloween mask and now I have to order more just to represent my new title reign.
Renee Young
I didn't realize that was a downsi . . .
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
And then I had to go and pick out a new theme song to represent my new title reign as Television Champion of the World and I was just loving the 'Radio' remix by Downstait. And to go with my new theme, I had to record and gather footage for a whole new titantron!
Renee Young
I don't think that you actually had to go do all of . . .
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Don't even get me started with all the partying and late night adventures keeping me from sleeping. I mean, I have barely any sleep since I won the title! I don't even know how I drove to work today!
Renee Young
You drove to work deprived to sleep?
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Are you kidding me?! I couldn't miss today! I get to face the two other champions in this company. I mean, you have the World Heavyweight Champion, the International Champion, and the Television Champion of the World, that's a main event that other companies could only dream of having!
Renee Young
Do you think you can beat Bray Wyatt and Owen Hart in the main event if you have a lack of sleep? Plus, they aren't exactly the lower-tiered champions.
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Really? You can't just downplay the Television Champion of the World like that! Just because this title isn't ranked as high as the others doesn't decrease its value. In fact, the only reason I even have this title is because there was an open challenge for it and I took my shot. If there had been an open challenge for the Internatioanl Championship or the World Heavyweight Championship I'd have walked home with those instead! With that said, I do believe that I can beat both of them tonight and to prove it I have asked the current Vice President and Reigning C.O.O. of Thursday Night Impact to make the main event to make it a Two Out Of Three Falls match so I can pin both men and prove it!
Suddenly a phone starts ringing and Zack instantly looks in his trunks to show that its his phone. He quickly pulls it out and the ringtone matches the picture: Gregory Helms. Zack happily answers the phone and holds it to his ear.
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Hey, Broski! I know you're watching the show. I gotta say, those exercises you been teaching me have really been paying off!
Gregory Helms
. . . . .
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
What? Really? Come on, Broski, don't be like that!
Gregory Helms
. . . . .
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
So I compliment you on the job your exercises have been doing me and you're just going to up and disrespect the Television Champion of the World?
Gregory Helms
. . . . .
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
What do you mean if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have the title?
Gregory Helms
. . . . .
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
You know what, I will prove it! I'll show you who is the Best Broski in the Business!
With that, Zack hangs up the phone and allows Renee to be free from standing there awkwardly. However, before she can ask about the phone call, Zack walks off with a determined look on his face. Before she can write her sign-off, Zack suddenly appears back in front of the camera and slides his sunglasses on to deliver a few final words.
"Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder
Woo Woo Woo, You Know It!
With that, Zack finally walks his way off camera and towards his lockerroom.
[Promo Closed]
[Feedback Welcome]
*It was originally intended to be longer and there was going to be more from Gregory's part but due to time constrants as well as a messed up sleep schedule and proscrastination, this is what I ended up with. There will be an announcement regarding the Television Championship later.*
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Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:53 pm
