DullAmbrose
Main Eventer
Posts : 101
Join date : 2014-07-06
 | Subject: A Romp Among The Gods  Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:36 pm | |
| The following vignette is seen after HBK defeats The Phantom to advance to the next round of King of the Ring. Dean Ambrose is seen sitting in a folding chair against the wall of the locker room. His head is tilted back against the wall. His eyes are closed. He keeps clenching and unclenching his fists. He begins to speak aloud without opening his eyes.Dean: When I was a kid, I used to work at this local bowling alley, Zeus Bowling. My job was to clean off the tables next to the lanes, to run garbage out to the dumpster, to go behind the pins and unjam the machines if they got stuck. I was basically a grunt. I got the worst jobs. I had to clean the bathrooms at the end of the night. You don't want to see a bowling alley men's room at midnight on a Saturday. But the owner of the place paid cash, and let me have a couple of beers at the end of my shift, so I stuck it out for a year or so. But let me tell you something. I fucking hated that place. I hated the bovine, ignorant losers who put down beer after beer and argued over which one of them was going to end up with the waitress at the end of the night. None of them ever did. One night in April, I did. She was 32, I was 17, it was one of the most incredible nights of my life, and a big reason they call me the Titty Master, but I digress.Ambrose opens his eyes and sits forward in the chair. He looks into the camera. When I came to the PWL, I did so because I wanted to come here and romp among the gods. I wanted to put my name against the immortals. I wanted to get in the ring with the Macho Man. With Owen Hart. With HBK. Hell, I figured I might even get to go toe to toe with the big man himself, Hulk Hogan. But guess what? Now I feel like I'm 16 again and cleaning out stalls. Except there ain't no free beer at the end of the night, and that waitress is long past her prime. I came in here like a house on fire, running around like the lunatic I am, kicking ass and putting on one hell of a show. That triple threat ladder match for the PWL championship was the best match of my life, and although I lost, I knew that I'd be back in the mix, challenging that arrogant prick Owen Hart for the title within a few weeks. Jesus, was I wrong. Since that match, I haven't won once. I've had my ass handed to me over and over and over again. I was out of sorts. I wasn't concentrating, and I kept getting beat. Kept staring up at those lights and listening to the ref count to three. And it all culminated tonight after Shawn Michaels kicked my head off to advance in the King of the Ring tournament.The crowd boos, and some "Ambrose" chants start up, offering the reflective Dean some support You know when I was sick of that bowling alley, I quit.The crowd boos again. "Don't leave Ambrose" chants begin to echo throughout the arena. Dean smiles slightly and chuckles to himself.Actually, that's not entirely true. I was fired from that shithole when the owner found out that I had been enjoying his wife's company, see, she was that waitress I was talking about.The crowd roars in approval. "Titty Master" chants start up. Ambrose springs to his feet, and leans up against the wall.There ain't no quit in Dean Ambrose. There wasn't any back then, and there sure as hell ain't any right now.Again, the crowd popsYeah, I'm beaten. Yeah, I'm down. But I ain't broken kids. I ain't even close to being broken. You know why? You know why Owen Hart? You know why Shawn Michaels? You know why Bray Wyatt or Manic or Manik or Panic or Spanky the Goddamn Masterbating Monkey? Because I'm a  The crowd is at fever pitch at this point, totally with Ambrose.I came here to put my name among the immortals. I came here to stand out in a sea of washed up wannabe's and psychos claiming to know the code to the devil's safe. Well for all of those crazy dumbasses in the back walking around with echoing voices and flickering lights and cheap camera tricks that make the Goosebump series look like Night of the Living Dead, I've got a little secret for ya. I know the goddamn combination. I've spoken with the Devil himself and he told me about it after I hooked him up with Miss Georgia 2013 and gave him a bottle of Jim Beam Black. Y'all ready for it? Y'all ready to hear the deep dark secret behind all the madness? It's SHUT THE HELL UP.Again, the crowd goes bonkers. They are loving them some Dean Armbar. I'm still standing here. I'm still looking for a fight. I'm still ready to bring my special brand of lunacy to that ring. I'm not dead. I'm not broken, and I'm in no mood for anyone's bs. So Owen Hart can continue to go on mumbling. Shawn Michaels can go on about how amazing he was ten years ago, and Ugly Fat Fuck can keep eating buckets of his own vomit. Actually, I take that back. I like that fat bastard. The point is, that once the dust settles, once the wheat has been separated from the chaff, there's gonna be one guy standing tall. One guy on the cover of PWL 2k15. One guy who these people can actually get behind. And that's me. The goddamn Lunatic Fringe, Mr. Belvedere himself, Dean Ambrose. The crowd goes nuts as Dean kicks over the chair and walks out of camera. | |
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