Don't be a bully, brah

The scene is set at a tropical beach paradise. A small child is building a sandcastle when a big, oaf looking jerk comes by and kicks it over. The kid runs off, crying as the man laughs at him. Suddenly, the first few chords of the following song can be heard:



The camera pans over to a hulking, jacked up Hawaiian man with the most powerful mullet this side of the universe. He is visibly upset at the man that knocked over the sandcastle. He points at the man as the music fades out.

Crush: Hey, you! Yeah, i'm talking to you, brah!

Crush walks over to the man, who is no longer laughing, but is still trying to play tough

Jerk: Whaddaya gon' do about it, pineapple head?

Crush: You come to my beach, and you push around children, brah? Well you're not dealing with a child anymore.

Crush walks up to the jerk and is face to face with him. The jerk is now looking a bit less brave, and backs up a bit

Jerk: Uhh... yeah, thats right! The kid got in my way! And like I said... what. are. YOU. gon' do about it? Huh, fruit punch?

Crush lets out a battle cry and grabs the man, pressing him over his head before slamming him onto the sand. The jerk ends up with a bunch of sand in his mouth, spitting and yelping in fear.

Crush: What am I gonna do, brah? I'm gonna set an example right here and now. Don't. Disrespect. The kids. Brah.

Crush then picks the man up and gets behind him, applying the Kona Clutch. As Crush squeezes the man's head he begins to cry just like the kid did. Crush then releases the hold as he waves for the child to come back over.

Crush: Here, little brah... give him a smack for me, would you?

The kid smiles and jumps into the air in excitement. He then kicks the jerk in the jaw so hard that it knocks him clean out.

Kid: TAKE THAT DOODIE HEAD!

Crush: HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE! Great job, little brah. Now you can get back to building your castle. And as for YOU...

Crush digs a hole in the sand and sets the man in it, standing up so that his head and chest stick up out the sand. He then begins building a large sand castle with a gate all the way around the man. Flash cut to the man still out at the beach, in the hole during the very cold night.

Jerk: Hello?! Anybody out there? Helloooo!?

Crush walks back into the shot as his music kicks back in. He grabs the man by the head and effortlessly pulls him out of the sand, again applying the Kona Clutch as the man passes out. Crush then tosses him into the ocean.

Crush: Be a bully and expect a visit from Crush, brah. Be nice, be cool, and the world will be cool right back, little brahs.

The shot fades as the jerk can be heard yelling. Crush stands motionless with his hands on his hips, as if he thinks it's a freezeframe but it actually isn't.

Jerk: SOMEBODY HELP ME! I'M SERIOOOOUSSSS!!!!!

(End of promo - always wanted to try a Crush promo. Goofy as all hell, and even more random... but I think it would be a fun character. That's all XD) Of course feedback is welcome